This exercise began with Ryan and I kicking around fun ways to evaluate baseball pitchers, and we realized that there’s a lot to be said by comparing them to famous bands and artists with similar career trajectories. Whether any of it is useful can be debated, but it sure was fun. The fits are rarely perfect – but that makes it so much cooler when they are. Without further ado, please enjoy the first installment of the Starting Pitcher = Musical Artist Exercise.
Pitcher: Dwight Gooden
Artist: Jimi Hendrix
Explanation: Perhaps the most straightforward. Gooden was considered a phenom, potentially on his way to the greatest pitching career of all time, until he got on board the 80s cocaine train and never got off. He did stick around for several more years as a mere shadow of his former self. Hendrix was considered potentially the greatest guitar player to ever live, but he couldn’t survive his excessive drug use. Who knows what either man could have done?
The Difference: Gooden still played baseball, but Hendrix actually died. As a result, Hendrix enjoys a much better reputation than does Gooden. Also, different eras.
Pitcher: Jamie Moyer
Artist: Aerosmith
Explanation: Both had good careers, then made a comeback and stuck around at an average level well past their primes. Moyer makes a living as a soft-tossing lefty craftsman, getting by on pure pitching knowledge, while Aeromsmith makes a living playing for nostalgic baby-boomers and staging tabloid fights, getting by through the well-worn rock star template.
The Difference: Moyer’s World Series ring, earned when he was 45, holds up much better than “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing.” Also, Aerosmith’s second-wind was more pronounced than Moyer’s.
This is what happened to the cocaine train around 1994.
Pitcher: Steve Howe
Artist: Pete Doherty
Explanation: Though not as talented, Howe was Gooden to the extreme, getting himself suspended seven times and eventually kicked out of baseball for his substance abuse (only to be reinstated later). Howe never sobered up, killed with meth in his system after rolling his pickup. Doherty is also frequently in trouble with the authorities, and has perhaps ruined a once-decent career. In their industry dictionaries, both men are featured prominently under the entry for “fuck-up.”
The Difference: Some people really love Doherty’s work, while I doubt there are many Steve Howe nostalgists out there.
Pitcher: Tom Glavine
Artist: REO Speedwagon
Explanation: They were workmanlike, not flashy, built up a devoted following. They briefly reached the pinnacle of their professions (a Cy Young, a No. 1 album). Then they hung on way too long and just became well-known jokes. Glavine recently retired, but Speedwagon has yet to follow his lead. Of course, when you get to play shows on a boat with Styx, Boston, and Toto, why would you ever hang it up?
The Difference: To be kind, Glavine enjoys a bit more critical respect than does REO Speedwagon.
Pitcher: C.C. Sabathia
Artist: Meat Loaf
Explanation: Awesome, unconventional, well-paid, underappreciated, these two — are fat, alright, they’re really freakin’ large. And that’s pretty much why this is a match made in heaven. And in case you’re wondering about the underappreciated part, “I’d Do Anything For Love” was very important to my childhood, alright?
The Difference: None, yet! This bodes well for C.C.’s longevity. Who needs pitcher similarity scores?
Pitcher: Mark Fidrych
Artist: Daniel Johnston
Explanation: You may not know Daniel – he’s a brilliant artist and singer-songwriter who also happens to be bipolar and, thus, very quirky. And you see where this is going. Fidrych was famous for talking to baseballs, grooming the mound, and performing other entertaining antics. A recent documentary brought Johnston’s career back to life for a new audience; unfortunately, the recent Fidrych renaissance was the result of his premature death.
The Difference: Johnston has been critically acclaimed by many, while Fidrych was a great pitcher for only a short time before injuries ruined his career.
Pitcher: Mike Mussina
Artist: Rush
Explanation: Rush has a complicated reputation. A lot of people don’t really care about them because they played prog in the 70s, but those people may not realize how much other stuff Rush did, and how consistent they were. And then some other people just despise Rush for no reason. These are the same exact people who think Mike Mussina’s not a Hall of Famer. And I don’t even like Rush.
The Difference: … seems ironclad to me.
Pitcher: Bob Gibson
Artist: Black Sabbath
Explanation: More than any other guy here, Gibson was Ozzy Osbourne on the mound. He was fierce and intimidating and would throw at anyone. Ozzy bit the head off a dove. Not only that, Gibson was a seminal 60s power-pitcher in the same way Sabbath was a seminal metal band. Both enjoy stellar reputations to this day.
The Difference: As far as I know, Bob Gibson hasn’t become a blabbering dunce in old age.
Seriously, try to picture this dude singing "Like Spinning Plates."
Pitcher: Randy Johnson
Artist: Radiohead
Explanation: They got off to solid starts, but a shift in territory helped them become sensations. They both stayed on top for an uncommonly long stretch, earning heaps of awards and critical praise. Oh, and Thom Yorke also looks funny.
The Difference: Johnson’s style was imposing as could be, while the feel of Radiohead’s later fare can only be described as “not physically threatening.”
Pitcher: Dennis Eckersley
Artist: Inverse Dave Grohl
Explanation: OK, hear me out. A starting pitcher leads the team, while a closer makes sure things are good on the back end of the game. A lead vocalist leads the band, while a drummer makes sure things are operating smoothly in the back end of the song. Eck was a great starter who became an even better closer. Grohl was a great drummer who started up his own band. Simple.
The Difference: Most would agree Nirvana was more relevant than the Foo Fighters.
That’s all for now. Stay tuned for the second installment!